Life is hitting me with EVERYTHING it has. I hate being angsty, but really, can you blame me? We got a forclosure notice yesterday. We have to hide our truck so they won't take it. We're practically begging for food and clothes. I mean, seriously! Oh, and what's worse is my dad. I looked at his paystub with my mom.... He's been lying to us hardcore. He told us he only made $75 in one week, and yet last month he made and withdrew $10,000. WTF? WTGDF??????? How the hell can he do this to us? How the hell can he just turn his back on us and give this money to someone else through com checks. What the hell did I do to make him hate me so much that he'd do this to me? And he wonders why I don't do good in school and haven't graduated yet. How the hell can he expect me to be able to concentrate on school when my LIFE is BURNING TO THE GROUND????? I can't get out of my damn depression and quite frankly, I'm afraid to. The second I get HAPPY about ANYTHING, life takes it's damn baseball bat to my head like "HAHAHAHA, stupid idiot! What are you happy for? IDIOT. YOUR LIFE IS CRAP! STOP SMILING!"

I'm so sick and tired of being depressed or numb. I give up. I really, I just give up. What the hell is the point of my life? To be kicked around and treated like crap? I'm nice to people. Even the people who gave me my damn self esteem issues. I smile at them and say something nice. So why? Why the hell am I here? I don't WANT to be kicked around like a piece of trash. And yet, that's all that happens....